Welcome to Plan B

Heres what I’m lookin at. Kt and I broke up in June and in August she tells me she’s talking to another guy. I wasn't totally cool with that. Mainly because it felt like we had just broken up and I wasn’t even entertaining the notion of dating someone at that point. I am still not totally okay with them now dating, but I want to be.

One of the biggest issues I’m dealing with is how I view Kt. She is my ex-girlfriend and that is all she ever will be unless we do something about it. I’m not okay with that. I want to see Kt as my friend but right now the only things, experiences, and memories that we share are based on our dating relationship. So, unless we can create and share other things, experiences, and memories as friends then I’m never going to be able to see her as such. Or maybe that isn't possible. I don't know for sure, but i definitely don't want to believe that two people could have a pure, God-honoring, heart guarding relationship like we had and not be able to be friends afterwards.

Due to the nature of our break up and the nature of our whole relationship i feel that we have proven that many of the standard rules and pitfalls of dating did not apply to us. In dating for seven months without even kissing we showed that we were able to not be ruled by our emotions and that we could be trusted in situations that would by very unwise for many other couples (such as being alone in each others apartments late at night).

We broke up because we see ourselves taking different paths in life as far as career and stability are concerned; not because of some emotion or lack thereof. Therefore getting back together is not a factor that hinges on our emotions or the time we spend together but rather for romantic reconciliation to even be a possibilty God would have to drasticly change the direction of either one or both of our lives. Neither of us are even entertaining that idea. Its just not gonna happen. Therefore, i feel comfortable with being in situations that most ex's should avoid (such as hanging out at each others apartments).

I also feel that such "risks" are necessary in order to preserve and build a friendship between us. Group settings don't allow us to actually talk to each other because there is either someone else that overpowers the conversations or one of us has to leave immediately after whatever event we were meeting for was based around.

Or i may be full of crap. I honestly don't feel confident about any of the possible scenarios. I just don't want to lose a friendship and if making a point to get together 2-4 times a month to watch a recorded tv show might help then thats what i wanna do. But if anyone else has any helpful suggestions i'm all ears.