Casper the friendly BCM

My past week was spent serving, directing, and chauffeuring a BCM group from Casper, Wyoming. It was crazy busy and loads of fun. As i built these short term relationships, i was reminded at how much i desire to invest in a long term ministry. My dis-contentedness with short term relationships has been growing ever since i first attended Southeastern College.

Since it was primarily a seminary, most of the chapel sermons were directed at pastors and missionaries. Many of these messages emphasized long term commitments to ministry and celebrated the humble pastors who stayed in one church their entire lives. It was not until then that i saw long suffering as a goal in which one should seek to attain.

As a fairly confident and outgoing guy, i make friends quickly wherever i go. This, has enabled me to make it a low priority to invest in others long term. Much to my chagrin, teaching and experience has taught me that my attitude was selfish, lazy, and just not practical. Genuine community is possible short-term, but it is perfected long-term. All the things that characterize community work so much better when there is a long term investment; things such as accountability, forgiveness, reconciliation, rebuke, teaching, comforting, and the list goes on. That is why making short term friends is so bittersweet.

Even when i have a great week with someone, i cannot help but wonder how much better our relationship could be if we could invest more in each other long-term. Intimate week long friendships are kinda like one-night-stands. It is fun and exciting in the moment, but its only temporary. There is instant gratification with no long term commitment. Neither side gets an accurate view of who the person really is. There is lots of intimacy but very little commitment.

Working at a church camp for two summers also caused me to question the benefits of the "wham bam thank you ma'am" approach to spiritual growth. By getting students to trust me and open up to me in just one week, i am encouraging them to pursue intimacy without commitment. I do not think that is a behavior Christians should be encouraging. That is neither healthy nor necessarily biblical. I confess, i do not have a verse where it is specifically condemned. Rather, i believe we downplay committed community because we overlook the importance of the local church in favor of the universal church. Some may cite James 5:16 as a reason to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other." This passage is directed to members of a local church, not the universal church. These confessions were to occur with believers that shared community with each other. Nowhere in scripture is intimacy without commitment condoned.

Christians place much emphasis on proper physical intimacy, (aka no sex till marriage) yet spiritual and emotional intimacy are basically ignored. Maybe many of the sexual issues that singles face are emotional intimacy issues rather than just lustful desires. Maybe we are just seeing the results of the emotional habits that we helped create.

And that was a bit of a rant.

All that to say, i had a great time with the Casper group. It was nice to hang out with passionate college students who love Jesus. Its also nice to find someone to trade Barenaked Ladies lyrics, Daniel Tosh quotes, and who knew who of Brave Saint Saturn. Nonetheless, every time i make a new friend in a temporary setting it makes me yearn even more for permanency. I hope that after my year in Portland is through, God will send me to a ministry and area where i can live for a long, long time. I anxiously yearn for a time when my friendships won't have deadlines.