Quote the Driscoll? Nevermore!

"You need to stop watching porno and crying like a baby afterward and grow up... A naked lady is good to look at, so get a job, get a wife, ask her to get naked, and look at her instead. Alright?" - Encouraging words from Mark Driscoll

I posted this on facebook a few days ago because I thought it was a cute quot

e. Click here to see the link and comments

I was not anticipating the backlash that ensued. This is a danger that comes with posting any quote on facebook since it is very easy to derive many meanings from one single quote. That doesn't mean that it HAS many meanings, only that it is vague enough to allow for many different interpretations. Because of the ease of misunderstanding this quote, I probably should not have posted it. Nonetheless, the deed has been done and now I must explain my interpretation of the quote so that people don't assume I support the objectifaction of women, downplaying holiness, or prooftexting.

To properly understand any text you need to take into account the context. This is a quote from Mark Driscoll's book “Confessions of a Reformission Rev” in a section focusing on his evolving role as a pastor. A college student called him up at 3 am to ask him to pray for him because he just watched a porno. The middle sentence that I ommitted was, “I don't have time to be your accountability partner, so you need to be a man and nut up and take care of this yourself.” Mark was not using this as an example of a complete and gracious counseling session. These were harsh words spoken guy to guy to a member of Mars Hill who had heard Driscoll speak on this topic more in depth.

The sin had already been committed and there was no real urgency or need for him to call his pastor at 3 am. I am a firm believer that true repentance is not made evident in the midst of sin nor immediately after. Its the decisions we make when we are not emotionally driven by our circumstances that reveal the true desire of our heart. This guy was not emotionally stable at this point.

Since there was no real urgency, it was very inconsiderate to call his pastor at 3 am

Though he was repentant, his actions were still selfish. As someone who has had their own fair share of porn struggles and has been a part of quite a few accountability groups, I can testify that a Christian will almost always feel remorse, heart broken, and guilty after doing the deed. I can also testify that those feelings rarely effect actual change. Mark was not going to be able to say some magical prayer or give some life changing advice that would solve this guy's porn problem at 3am. So, Driscoll just told him to grow up, stop being emotional, and deal with the problem. Then he gave the guy something positive and biblical to pursue instead of just focussing on what he should not do.

“A naked lady is good to look at, so get a job, get a wife, ask her to get naked, and look at her instead.” Scripture celebrates sexual desire and nudity within the context of marriage and condemns it any other way. (Since the word “lust” can refer to either of these contexts i'll instead use the umistakeably generic term “sexual desires.”)

Sexual desire and nudity are not inherently sinful, rather they were designed by God for His glory. Sexual desire becomes a sin only when gratification is sought outside of God's plan of marriage. Matthew 5:27 Jesus tells us what God's standard is when it comes to purity and he takes it pretty seriously. In Genesis 2:24-25 Adam and Eve are unashamedly having sex and being naked before the fall

. I am fairly confident they enjoyed themselves because I just can't rationalize sexual enjoyment and the consequent desire being a result of sin rather than a gift from a good God. The problem is that we have taken a good thing, and turned it into a god thing

. Put simply, looking at a naked lady is good; looking at a naked lady that isn't your wife is bad. Idolatry is what occurs when we pervert God's good creation and make it bad. That means I am not a disgusting pervert because I like breasts. It means I am a disgusting pervert because I like the breasts of women that aren't my wife.

We live in a culture that worships sex and romance. Therefore, it is quite easy and probably fairly common for us to trade one sin for another. I really liked what Joey said when he wrote, “We take every thought captive, not because a naked woman is wrong, but because we are idol makers and our focus becomes torn from God.”

Sadly many in our society make marriage their idol, but Christians can pursue marriage without making it an idol. There are many benefits and purposes that God has given us through his plan of marriage. Scripture tells us that one of those benefits and purposes is sex.

We do not need to pretend that the only benefits to marriage are the really spiritual ones. Though they are certainly the most important ones.

God created sex. God created marriage. God created mankind and encouraged them to get married and have sex. That is encouraging! That means God has provided a way in which I may one day enjoy this part of His creation fully and unashamedly. It does not mean that marriage or women are only for sex. In fact, sex is only a small part of God's purpose for marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33), and God has WAY bigger plans for women than just their ability to gratify men. But ignoring the smaller pleasures of something in order to emphasize the bigger purpose is just silly. Please allow me this illustration.

While shopping for a new car I was pretty excited about having air conditioning for the first time in my life. Ultimately, though, AC ranked pretty low on my list of reasons and priorities for getting a new car. Still, I didn't need to stop anticipating air conditioning so I could focus on a low price, good gas mileage, and dependability. Thankfully, Chevy designed a car that could give me all these at the same time! Likewise, God, being a wise and good God, designed marriage with many purposes and sex is just one of them.

Since I would one day like to have sex, then pursuing a righteous and responsible lifestyle would be conducive to God blessing me with a wife. Being mature does not guarantee that God will bless me with a wife, but being immature, jobless, and homeless will seriously hinder those possibilities as well as my relationship with God. In pursuing holiness and righteousness, I will not only grow closer to and better glorify God, but i will also be better suited and more likely to be blessed with a wife. God, in His infinite goodness, has designed it so that i may glorify Him AND potentially have sex.

How cool is that?!

I can get a dependable car with great gas mileage at a reasonable price and STILL GET AIR CONDITIONING.

Seeing as how I have written way more than I wanted and took way more time than I intended this will have to be a two parter. I must address 1Cor 7, and i'm kinda glad that it will get its own post. Cause its worth it.